My heart on an internet platter

Yesterday, I attended my first blog conference. Elevate was hosted by Summer from Made by Munchie's Mama, Jenn from Delightful Deets and Nicole from Yeung Mother Hubbard. They did a fantastic job and it was a wonderful experience to meet so many great women behind the blog including our inspirational speakers Sarah from Little Penelope Lane, Erin from Living in Yellow, Kimmie from Sugar and Dots and Ashley from Little Miss Momma. Although I want to share EVERYTHING that I've learned and all of the beautiful photos that were taken yesterday, I will save that for the next post. :)
Today, I want to share more of me rather then just what I have been creating for others and their events (although that is still a big part of what makes me, me). I realized though that I don't share enough of my personal life. It's not that I need to but in order to connect with readers, it's important to really know the person behind the blog. Not sharing a whole lot of my personal life has been purposeful because I'm a little scared to really put myself and my feelings on the web. Once you "publish" a post, there's no going back and that's what scares me.

After a while of blogging and sharing all of the "pretty things" that I love, create and what inspires me, I want my readers to know a bit more about me-the wife who doesn't get the house clean every day or cooks dinner every night-the mommy who has guilt when my son plays by himself while I try to finish orders in my craft room-the planner who is scrambling to stay organized and sometimes does too much which results in headaches-the Christian who doesn't stay in my devotion every. single. day. like I'd want-the worrier who gets anxiety over many types of risks (including driving in the car and meeting new faces) and the girl who tries to please too many people and tries too hard sometimes.
Although it is a beautiful life-it can be difficult at times. I've had people say say, "I want your life," "I want to be as successful as you" or even "you seem to have it all together." I find it strange when people say these things because I most certainly don't have it all together and I make mistakes-A LOT. When I thought about why I would hear these things, I realized that I only post what I want people to know/think-not because it isn't me but because I only let the "good/positive" door open to the outside world. I love my family and I love creating but like I said, sometimes a lot of the time it's hard.
I have many moments where I want to give up on many projects I undertake because the stress overwhelms me but because it will make someone else happy, I don't. As I admit that, it makes me cry because that is the first time I've finally said it. I am still learning to prioritize.
I'm so incredibly grateful for my husband because he is the biggest supporter of me and is the best to talk to when I need advice for something. He has more confidence in me then I do in myself. That is the truth. When he talks about me, the first thing I want to do is say something negative about myself or make his comments seem like they were exaggerated. That is so awful right? I don't know why I do it and it's something I need to work on. I need to believe in myself and believe it when I say it!
That goes for every woman-we need to have more confidence in ourselves-as a wife, mommy, student, creative artist, business owner, teacher, counselor, etc. It's so easy to beat ourselves up! I know this because I do it.
God created us in his image and we are perfect the way we are. The sooner we understand this, the sooner we can love ourselves and truly appreciate our lives to the fullest.
Honestly, I had no idea that I was going to write this post the way it turned out. I don't want you to think that I'm upset or wish I had another life or anything depressing like that. I just want to share my heart today and let you know that it's ok to not have it all together because nobody does-no matter what they may portray. It's ok to have meltdowns because you don't think you are a perfect mom-if your baby loves you and smiles at the world-you must be doing something right. It's ok to feel stressed because everyone needs a break. It's ok to feel vulnerable because sometimes sharing your deepest feelings is the best therapy. These are some of mine.