Billboard-lovesparklepretty

Yesterday, I attended my first blog conference. Elevate was hosted by Summer from Made by Munchie's Mama, Jenn from Delightful Deets and Nicole from Yeung Mother Hubbard. They did a fantastic job and it was a wonderful experience to meet so many great women behind the blog including our inspirational speakers Sarah from Little Penelope Lane, Erin from Living in Yellow, Kimmie from Sugar and Dots and Ashley from Little Miss Momma. Although I want to share EVERYTHING that I've learned and all of the beautiful photos that were taken yesterday, I will save that for the next post. :)
Today, I want to share more of me rather then just what I have been creating for others and their events (although that is still a big part of what makes me, me). I realized though that I don't share enough of my personal life. It's not that I need to but in order to connect with readers, it's important to really know the person behind the blog. Not sharing a whole lot of my personal life has been purposeful because I'm a little scared to really put myself and my feelings on the web. Once you "publish" a post, there's no going back and that's what scares me.

After a while of blogging and sharing all of the "pretty things" that I love, create and what inspires me, I want my readers to know a bit more about me-the wife who doesn't get the house clean every day or cooks dinner every night-the mommy who has guilt when my son plays by himself while I try to finish orders in my craft room-the planner who is scrambling to stay organized and sometimes does too much which results in headaches-the Christian who doesn't stay in my devotion every. single. day. like I'd want-the worrier who gets anxiety over many types of risks (including driving in the car and meeting new faces) and the girl who tries to please too many people and tries too hard sometimes.
Although it is a beautiful life-it can be difficult at times. I've had people say say, "I want your life," "I want to be as successful as you" or even "you seem to have it all together." I find it strange when people say these things because I most certainly don't have it all together and I make mistakes-A LOT. When I thought about why I would hear these things, I realized that I only post what I want people to know/think-not because it isn't me but because I only let the "good/positive" door open to the outside world. I love my family and I love creating but like I said, sometimes a lot of the time it's hard.
I have many moments where I want to give up on many projects I undertake because the stress overwhelms me but because it will make someone else happy, I don't. As I admit that, it makes me cry because that is the first time I've finally said it. I am still learning to prioritize.
I'm so incredibly grateful for my husband because he is the biggest supporter of me and is the best to talk to when I need advice for something. He has more confidence in me then I do in myself. That is the truth. When he talks about me, the first thing I want to do is say something negative about myself or make his comments seem like they were exaggerated. That is so awful right? I don't know why I do it and it's something I need to work on. I need to believe in myself and believe it when I say it!
That goes for every woman-we need to have more confidence in ourselves-as a wife, mommy, student, creative artist, business owner, teacher, counselor, etc. It's so easy to beat ourselves up! I know this because I do it.
God created us in his image and we are perfect the way we are. The sooner we understand this, the sooner we can love ourselves and truly appreciate our lives to the fullest.
Honestly, I had no idea that I was going to write this post the way it turned out. I don't want you to think that I'm upset or wish I had another life or anything depressing like that. I just want to share my heart today and let you know that it's ok to not have it all together because nobody does-no matter what they may portray. It's ok to have meltdowns because you don't think you are a perfect mom-if your baby loves you and smiles at the world-you must be doing something right. It's ok to feel stressed because everyone needs a break. It's ok to feel vulnerable because sometimes sharing your deepest feelings is the best therapy. These are some of mine.

It all started a couple days ago when I received a disappointing email. It was from Patchwork which was the juried craft show that my friend and I entered together. It was the first juried show that I have ever entered (& only the second show that I entered with Love Sparkle Pretty). It was a letter of denial into the show and they didn't really give an exact reason why-only about 5 reasons that it could have been. I felt so rejected and I cried as if I got denied into the university of my dreams! This is when I realized...I am a big. cry. baby.
I blame all of my sensitive emotions on becoming a mom. I mean, I don't remember crying over just about everything before having my son! These are just some moments that I'm talking about:
*While watching The Voice, I hear a beautiful life story and then get all teary-eyed when the person starts to sing.
*My husband starts on a "serious talk" and although he's not even mad at me, I start to sob.
*Thinking about my son growing up or what would happen if he didn't have us in his life anymore is cause for some serious knots in my throat.
*I watch a wedding-pretty much any wedding and the tears fill my eyes. This goes for proposals as well!
*A good song comes on and I may be hearing it for the first time-yet, the water works turn on (latest song was "Hey Pretty Girl by Kip Moore).
*When I talk about certain decisions I've made in the past or experiences (and they're good ones) that I've gone through...yup-tears.
*A baby commercial/baby story. You guessed it.
*Singing certain worship songs in church get me all chocked up.
*Thinking about my dad who passed. It's been almost 8 years and it's still hard to think that he's gone.
*When I totally blanked out on the answers after a teacher tested me with some questions. Again, I cried.
*Watching a really happy ending to a movie. Actors/actresses are so good at what they do!

The list goes on. Some reasons are pretty "normal" to be emotional about but most are just down right dramatic!

Now, I can be pretty good at stopping myself from crying so don't think of me as the girl who's constantly in tears and gets my feelings hurt over anything anyone says. lol I'm not depressed. Promise. :)

I am just curious if anyone else feels the same or has gone through a weird emotional phase? Please say it's not just me! Haha!